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Are there any lawyers here?

A man walks into a bar and he's really angry. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "all lawyers are a*******." A man sitting in the corner shouts, "I take offense to that!" The pissed-off guy asks him, "why? Are you a lawyer?" He replies, "no, Im AN a******." Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? A: He was looking for loopholes! An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body? They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.

Public Comments

1. the first one made me laugh but the other three were dumb
2. a*******??? but star for everything.. It made me chuckle
3. hahaha
4. Good ones, as always. Thank you.
5. roflmfao at the shoebox one............ You are DA MAN Jake old mate
6. Very nice , right to the core.......... serves them....lol
7. Lmao. They all gave me a laugh. Why is it that people don't know what the ******* mean? i thought i was dumb but shit my 11 year old knows that it is a swear word but she knows not to say it too. Star for you jake you're the best.
8. hehehehehehe!!! That lastone was awesome! Took a while to get it but i can't stop laughing now lolz
9. star
10. those were really funny!!!!!! lol
11. Q.what would you do if a layer sued you for this? A.Sue his ass right back for not having a sense of humor... LOL...i crack myself up sometimes....
12. Now we know the truth, thanks. wink wink.
13. To Brunette: ******* = A S S H O L E. Great ones, Jake! Anything basing on lawyers gets a * in my book!!
14. I'm not a lawyer , but I could use some loopholes. LOL Your sooooooo funnnnnyyyy!
15. ROFL Brilliant !!! Those were so great the last one really had me laughing. Thanks. xx
16. best lawyer jokes that i've heard. do you mind if i borrow them?
17. I LOL!!! They were funny as ****!! I give you a thumbs up!